A preschool Christmas

Over the summer when we decided that it was time to send the girls to preschool a few days a week I was so excited.  Despite the fact they hated it at first, they are loving it now.  Over this first semester they have learned to read words, master coloring skills, arts and crafts, and so much more. 

I was so excited to hear that they were doing a Christmas program.  I mean really what is better then little kids dressed up and singing.  I was told a few days ahead of time that the prior year it was standing room only.  This is a great tip to get as a parent who has never been to such a production.  Let's just say that Stacey was less then thrilled to hear that I wanted him there an hour and a half in advance of the start to save the seats for us and the nana's and papas.  We ended up arriving at 5:30 for a 6:30 performance to ensure we would have great seats for watching our little stars. 

There is a special place in heaven for the Duncan Academy staff who did an amazing job with the little stars.  The patience they must have had to teach is nothing short of amazing.  As the lights went down and the program began the kids all danced to Christmas songs dressed in special outfits.  Some danced, some stood there looking scared, and some just cried for their parents.  All the while, parents were clapping and laughing and enjoying the best preschool performers ever. 

Watch out the Smith Girls might just become stars!

The kick line

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

The Guilt Trip

Family comes first for me, it always has and always will.  I have never missed anything important for the girls due to work, and I don't plan on it.  All that being said, there is a four year old girl at home who knows how to make her mommy feel bad for working late. 

My job has crazy hours and it is pretty common for me to work at 12 hour day at least once a week.  Sure some weeks I am home every night and other weeks I have two or three late nights.  And don't even get me started about my hours during a school election.  Despite all of that, I love my job! 

When Stacey and I started talking about having kids I made it clear that I was going to be a working mom.  I think that you can do both successfully and don't have to give anything up to be good at both.  Once the girls were born I made adjustments to my schedule to spend more time at home.  Gone were the days of going to almost any Fort Osage School program.  Gone were the days of working two and three nights a week.  Gone were the days of leaving the house at 6:15 and coming home about 6.  Welcome to the world of working at home after the kids go to bed and learning to delegate. 

Now don't get me wrong, the girls loving being home with daddy and having special dinners with him (usually they get to choose to eat what they want and they love that).  They have heard from me since they were young that mommy helps kids and schools and sometimes that means being at work until they are in bed.  Most of the time it works out...not tonight.  I made my usual call home to see how there day was.  Ella was all talks about what was taking place at the minute and what they had for lunch (heck she is my kid and the day is all about what you eat).  Grace gets on the phone and sounds so sad.  When I asked her what was wrong she said, "I just miss you so much."  Now Grace is my drama queen and she really was fine as soon as I hung up the phone (at least that is what I am going to tell myself).  However, it still makes you feel bad when you can't be there to snuggle before bed or read the story or even tuck them into bed. 

Well miss Grace you will get over it and we can have the same talk next week when I am gone Monday night, but for tonight.....  Mommy loves you!  Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!  Snuggle in and mommy will give you hugs and kisses when I get home!

Hard Conversations

Not that long ago we found out the our dog, Diamond, has an aggressive form of cancer and was given 3 to 6 months to live.  As hard as it was for us to receive this news, we had no idea what to tell the girls.  After keeping it from them for about a month, we decided on Sunday that we needed to tell them.  I mean really how to do explain that to a child without scaring them.

Grace has always tolerated the dog, but it was Ella who loves Diamond.  Maybe it is because she can boss the dog around and for the most part, the dog does what Ella wants.  Maybe it is because Ella likes taking care of people and she can take care of Diamond pretty well by her self.  Whatever the reason, we had no idea what we were going to tell them, especially Ella.   

We decided to have the conversation over breakfast so that I had all day to answer questions and see how they took it.  Grace got a little teary and Ella asked, "so the day she dies can we get a new dog?"  Keeping in mind that Diamond was my first baby, I was a little taken back.  Really kid, you are all about this dog and you are ready to just get a new one?  As the day went on she talked more and more about Diamond and would we know when she did not feel good and could we take care of her.  This made me feel a little better.  Grace actually took some time to snuggle by Diamond (that is about as good as it gets with her).  So telling them turned out not to be so bad.  But, lesson learned, they girls would have been fine had the day Diamond passed we just told them and moved on.  

Marketing Scheme

Now I would like to think that I give my girls a nice balance of what they want and what they need.  I want to teach them that you don't get everything you want, but as their mom I want to give them so much.  I am not always talking about material things, but in this case yes. 

Thanksgiving was great and we settled down that night to snuggle on the sofa, our evening routine.  The first Christmas shows of the season were on and we were all excited.  We watched Elf on the Shelf and thought it was pretty cute.  I should have hit delete on the DVR.  Over the course of the next three days the girls and I engaged in our Thanksgiving tradition....shopping Black Friday with Stacey, Christmas decorations getting put up, and lots of jammie time just hanging out playing games and watching movies.  After watching Elf on the Shelve for perhaps the 20th time, I got asked the question of the weekend, "Mom can Santa send us an Elf on the Shelf?"  I explained, like most parents, that you can ask Santa for whatever you want, but he has lots of girls and boys to make toys for and you may not get everything you ask for.  To which my way to smart children responded, "But Santa is sending them to all the boys and girls."  What is a mom to do?  You try to explain that everything you see on TV is not real, but when it comes to Santa I am not giving that up yet. 

As we wrote our email to Santa (yes we email Santa instead of mail...come on now with all the technology why write?  I am really wanting for Santa's Facebook and then we can just post our list), and they both asked for Elf on the Shelf I began to see the genius in the cartoon developer.  Make a show the kids love and they will ask their parents for the item.  I am sure this Elf has great qualities and a base of Christmas tradition, but let's get real. 

So this time the girls win and for $29.95 our Elf will be "Santa delivered" by mail this week and the Smith household will be the next proud owners of Elf on the Shelf.  Truth be told he is a cute little guy and the idea behind it all is pretty neat.  That being said...Marking scheme 1 mom 0. 

Girls Night

Friday night mom and I took the girls on a girls night out.  They had been looking foward to this all week.  Not only were they going to see nana, but princess Belle as well.  Friday morning I reminded them that today was the day and Grace asked if her papa could come to which Ella promply yelled at her that papa was a boy and it was girls night.  At this point I was thinking maybe this was going to be a long night. 

After work I got the girls and asked them what they wanted to eat for dinner.  Taco Bell they yelled!  Really, mom and nana will take you out to eat and you want Taco Bell.  Not that I mind Taco Bell, it is actually one of my favorite fast food places to eat.  I was just thinking of a little something nicer.  After grabbing nana we headed to Hobby Lobby to take a look around and waste a little time before heading to eat.  I actually got the girls to agree on a Mexican place that did not serve food on a tray. 

The hightlight of the evening was taking the girls to the theatere to see Beauty and the Beast.  Well ok it was technically a theatere, but the performers were Fort Osage High School Students.  In my mind this production was going to be about an hour and a half, but I was told Friday morning that it was more like two and a half hours.  The girls were so excited to enter the theatre.  We had talked about how you needed to act and what would happen, but the looks on their faces were priceless. 

 Ella before the show

 Grace before the show.

They were great the entire performance.  I would look over at Grace and she would have the biggest smile on her face.  A few times I thought Ella would fall alseep, but they both stayed awake the whole show.  The Fort Osage High School students did an amazing job and the production was excellent. 

After the show the girls got to "meet" the cast in the lobby.  Grace could not wait to see Belle and get her picture taken with her.  The girl who played Belle was so good to the little kids and really made them feel special.  The girls talked non stop about the show on the way home and wanted to know when they could take nana back to see another show. 

All and all a successful girls night out!

The girls with princess Belle.



Reflection

Stacey and I have long been experiencing the man in the mirror.  Take two four year olds and you can see and hear exactly what you do and say.  I can hear Ella tell her baby that she is so proud of her and I can see Grace check her reflection in every mirror she walks by.  Both of these the girls get from me.  I can hear Ella yell "damn dog" and know that every morning Grace just needs a few minutes to herself and then she will be ready for the day and know with confidence that comes from Stacey. 


Aside from the fact they act like you, they will tell you when you do something wrong.  A few weeks again I called a driver dumb for the way they drove, and Ella and Grace quickly reminded me that we don't use the word stupid that is not nice.  This weekend it was a hoot to hear Ella correct nana.  While driving down Quivira with nana, she ran a yellow light (yes yellow not red).  Ella quietly from the back seat said nana why did you not stop?  Nana said it was yellow not red and Ella said, "nana yellow means stop."  Nana explained that we had been stoped by about 3 red lights and she did not feel like stopping.  Ella quickly told her that you need to slow down and stop when the light turns yellow.  Nana was less then impressed with the knowledge and being told how to drive from a 4 year old in the back seat, but I was beaming.  I know that she pays attention and is trying to keep us all safe. 

Next time nana will know that when Ella is in the car she needs to obey all traffic laws and watch what she says and does. 

For those who wonder, Grace decided to stay home with Papa rather then go shopping.  Just more proof that I am raising a papa's girl.  She would rather hang at home with him then go shopping with the girls. 

Also for those who might wonder, nana was less then thrilled that I posted the story to facbebook and I am sure she is loving this post.   

Where does the time go?

Looking back on things I am not really sure what Stacey and I did with all our free time before we had the girls.  These days it seems like there is little time to sleep let alone anything else.  What did I do Monday nights before I had to take the girls to dance?  Where did we go before we had to make plans weeks in advance to secure a babysitter?  I think the days just must be getting shorter :)

Seriously, these days I don't think that I work any more then I used too, in face I know that I put in less nights at the office since the girls were born.  Yet it took me an hour last night just to get some things put away and in order.  Part of the problem is that the girls have way to many toys.  20 baby dolls is more then enough for two little girls (Just so you know Stacey and I will put out a hit on anyone who dares to buy a baby doll for the girls birthday or Christmas this year....think we are kidding, just try us.  And no I don't really care that the girls keep saying they just want a baby doll).  I did what any good mom would do after spending an hour cleaning up, I sat and read the girls a book, put them to bed, and had a glass of wine!  Go ahead and laugh, but I have given in to my OCD and am learning to accept the fact that my house will never be the spotless envy of my friends.  I have two kids, and well let's face it a husband, and so my house will be clean, but not spotless.  If you come over you may have to move a toy or two around.  I don't have to run the vacuum everyday and the beds may or may not get made. 

Instead I will use my time having fun with family and friends.  Just to prove my point the girls will enjoy an evening with Nana and Papa and Stacey and I will have a date night.  The two dishes in the sink can wait until tomorrow and our closets are full of clothes so the mountain of laundry (ok maybe I am exaggerating a little there) can wait until Saturday. 

Since I can't add hours to the day, I will just have to enjoy the ones I have.  After all someone will clean it all up after I am gone :). 

Papa's Girl

When Dan married into this family he never knew that he would end up with five girls not just two (and that does not even count other grandkids).  While Christina and I were a breeze to deal with :), these little girls are anything but. 

Grace, more so then Ella, is a proclaimed Papa's Girl.  We have had talks were Ella says she is a helper girl and a mommy and daddy's girl and asks Grace who she wants to be and Grace always, and I mean always, says "well I really papa's girl."  If she get hurt, or sad, or in trouble, or really just anytime she can open her mouth it is always I miss my papa, I need my papa, can I call my papa.  The last is by far my favorite.  Most of the calls she makes Dan ends not having a clue what they just talked about, but really I guess that might just be that she is a girl and he is a boy.  She will tell him about her day, what she wants to do next time she sees him, or how he gets to do something for her.  Take her to nana and papa's and she can find papa's lap quicker then an Oreo can find Dan's mouth (sorry had to add that in there). 

It should come as no surprise that when I told Grace we were going to see papa on Sunday that her face just beamed.  Sunday morning came and she had to get all dressed up, after all it had been two weeks since she had seen him which was just torture in her mind.  On the way she wanted to call and make sure papa would be home when she arrived.  After jumping in his lap she only moved to have her dress hemmed (which papa had to look at and watch the process for her) and to get a book in which papa must read.  Papa even got caught trying to skip pages (silly papa).  After watching almost all the football game that papa was coaching I suggested that it was time to head home.  If you could see the hurt in her eyes you would realize why we stayed another hour until papa was done coaching so she could give him a hug goodbye. 

So there is only one question left, papa when does Grace get to see you again :)

What every little girls needs

Children never cease to amaze me and there is never a dull moment when a child is around (trust me if there is something big is about to happen).  So let me set the scene. 

It is Saturday morning and Ella has gotten up at 6:00 a.m. and Stacey got her set watching cartoons and then came back to bed and fell back to sleep like the rest of us.  The three of us get up at 7:00 and I started breakfast.  We needed to leave by 9:20 for our 10:00 pictures (or so I thought).  I waited as long as possible before showering both girls and getting them dressed.  The only instructions was to spend the next hour not eating, drinking, or getting into anything.  Anyone with kids is most likely laughing now knowing this is impossible. 

Just as Stacey was getting ready to cut his hair and take a shower, I realized that our photos were at 9 not 10 and we needed to leave in 10 minutes.  I will spare you the story, but we made it only 10 minutes late which is not bad.

We arrive at this nice studio and the girls have gotten over the idea that I would not let them color in the truck with markers on the way.  They are both little hams so they are so excited when we get to choose the background and start getting set up.  Like a good mom I take one last look over them before sending them to the camera.  Grace reminds me that I was going to do lip gloss on them and I have to now explain that I left it at home and pray there is no meltdown coming.  "Don't worry mommy I have it here in my pocket," Grace says.  So as she is taking it out I realize that she has a few other things in her pocket.  Now here is what every girl needs to take with her to a photo shoot:  lip gloss, pink ribbon, hair clip, and oh yeah a pink handgun (fake of course).  I about fell over laughing.  When I asked why she brought this stuff, "You just never know when you might need to a gun or lip gloss mom."  At least she will be prepared for anything. 

The Hunting Widow

I met Stacey in December 2001 and by April when he had moved in, I realized that I was living with a hunter.  Now many of you may say so what, but let me tell you it is a lifestyle not a hobby.  By the fall of 2002 I really knew what I was in for and I loved it!  I love spending time with Stace, but I really enjoy the fall when he can be gone up to 3 or 4 nights a week and the opening weekend deer camp trip (now in fairness I will say that since he started the Taxidermy and we had kids, his hunting days have been cut down some).  It was our bestman Doug who said at our wedding, "usually Stacey would have a girlfriend and then October would come around and by the winter he no longer had a girlfriend so when Stephanie was still around in the winter we knew she was a keeper."

Before kids my "hunting days" were spent watching my football games (ie not MU), girly movies, organizing parts of the house (yes I do enjoy doing that and yes I know it is a sickness), shopping with my friends and mom, and anything I wanted to do.  Not too much has changed for my hunting days now that the kids have come along except to say that yes pancakes can be dinner and yes you can just eat noodles and butter and call it a meal :). 

Now I look forward to the day when Stacey and the girls all go hunting and I will be the one to sacrifice and stay at home.  Just imagine a whole day or weekend with everyone gone and just me at the house (hey a girl can dream can't she). 

We will miss you this fall hunny, but good luck!  Oh yeah and when are you taking the girls hunting :)

To all you hunters out there, best of luck this season and if you should get the big one I know a great taxidermist that can help you out :).

To all the hunting widows, enjoy the season and happy shopping, eating, or just laying around.

A Little Family Time

Every September since they were born, Stacey and I have taken the girls on a vacation to Colorado.  Each year has had its ups and downs.  The first year they were so off their schedule that they only way they would nap was if we drove.  The second year they were walking and we were trying to be supportive of their independence, but wow it took forever to get anywhere.  Last year they hiked liked little champs putting in about 3 miles in  one day. 

This year we were expecting that things would be about the same, but they always find a way to surprise us.  I am positive we were the only ones who had to sing songs while we hiked.  I never saw another girl dance her way down a hiking trail.   I am 100% sure people thought we were nuts hiking in the rain while our girls giggled and laughed. 

Here are a few things the girls taught me on vacation this year

1.  If you going to write your letters you better, better start them at the top.
2.  A walk and a hike are the same thing to a four year old and don't try to tell them otherwise.
3.  If you go into a store you must buy something, anything, just buy something.
4.  Songs make a hike go by faster and it is even better when strangers join in the song.
5.  Rain makes the best weather to hike in and you can jump in puddles.
6.  Trucks can be fun to ride in and it is amazing how many toys fit in a back seat.
7.  There is nothing better then sitting by a fire and watching elk as a family.
8.  You must always say good night to the Elk before going to sleep.
9.  Promising to go to the playground will get girls to do just about anything.
10.  9 nights in a camper bring you closer as a family

I can sum up this year's vacation as being fun, trying, and just plain perfect! 

A Shout Out to Stacey

Our life is crazy busy and the girls are not even involved in much yet.  With so much going on it is easy to overlook the best thing that happened to me, Stacey.  Eight years ago I married my best friend and life, no matter how crazy it gets, he is the bright spot in my day.  So today's blog post goes out to Stacey!

Many dads I know are not as involved as Stacey.  He was a good sport when the girls dance class got moved to Tuesday nights and he got to be the one to get the girls ready and take them to dance for at least half the classes if not more.  Add in the fact that he is solely responsible for the girls at least 1 night a week and you have Super Dad!  It should be no surprise that the one time he goes out of town, Ella stares out the window and cries for her snuggle buddy.  I am happy to say that WE are raising our kids and he has been in it every step of the way from the first night (truth be told some weeks he sees them more then me).  The girls will someday realize how lucky they are to have such a great dad.  Plus seeing him in action with the girls is one of the things I love the most about him. 

We don't always get to spend as much time together as we would like, but we always have fun and find a reason to laugh. After all if we can't laugh at ourselves and each other I don't know that we would make it day to day. 

He is so understanding of my 5 phone calls a day with my mother, he helps to cook dinner almost every night (if he does not make it alone), he makes sure that I never have to get in a cold car, and he always listens to my rants and gossip that I just have to share, he makes breakfast on the weekends, he tolerates my busy schedule knowing how much I love my job, and so much more that I can not even think of right now. 

I am a lucky woman to share my life with such a great man.  I love you babe and agree we have it pretty good :)

My Promise to My Girls

My name is Stephanie and I am addicted to social media.  There I said it and it makes me feel a little better.  Sure I have Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, a blog, Snapfish, and those are just the ones I look at each day.  So it should come as no surprise that I have been fascinated by the talk around the book "Maggie Goes On A Diet."  I usually open minded and really pay little attention to taking a stance on something like this, but I am going to make an exception.

I knew almost 5 years ago what I was getting into when we found out we were having two girls.  I would be the one to potty train, do most of the bathing, not be able to sit and eat a meal without having to take a child to the restroom at least 4 times, I will have to have "the talk", deal with women issues, and so much more.  I was willing to handle all that (although let's be honest when we found out we were having two girls it was a little late to decide that I would be ok with all of this). 

I was raised to be happy with who I am and to have a strong sense of self.  I have never been a true girly girl (I love to get all dolled up but on any given weekend you will find me hair in a pony tail, no make-up, and a swim suit).  Like me for who I am or don't either way I am fine with it (thanks mom!). 

Already we get the questions like "mom why is that girl wearing her underway to the store (loudly of course in the Wal-Mart line)?"  I was prepared and think I did a good job of responding by saying "hunny everyone dresses a little different from one another and that is ok." 

Fast forward to last week and thank goodness the girls were not in the car with me when I saw someone walking down the road, looking like what can only be described as wearing a hooker type outfit (oh you all know what I am talking about), when I found myself saying "you be lookn' like a ho" (although I did not roll down my window and yell such). 

I began to wonder if I was really ready to set a good example for my girls.  So when I read about this book and know of all the issues that girls grow up having to deal with, it can be a little scary.  My friend Amy wrote a great blog post and it got me to thinking.  So here is what I promise to you Ella and Grace (with at least a few readers to remind me of this promise):

• I will raise you to have self-confidence and be happy with the person you choose to become.
• I will never knowingly let you out of the house wearing anything that would make someone wonder if you were a hooker or make them want to yell "you be lookn' like a ho"
• I will teach you to respect that everyone looks different because god wanted to teach us acceptance of others.
• I will teach you that you can look just as good in a black tie affair dress and a pair of pj's with no make up.
• I will teach you to respect yourself so that others will respect you.
• I will teach you that you are the most beautiful person in the world and not to let anyone tell you other wise.
• I will teach you that you don't have to look like a particular image to be happy with who you are.

and lastly, and perhaps the most important....

• I will teach you that when your daughter asks why you have a roll on your tummy to respond that it was because your perfect stomach was taken away by growing two little girls in your tummy, who now occupy all your time so that you can't do the workout that you want to get back that flat stomach.  (ok who I am kidding that is really my lesson to myself and who I am kidding to think that I will ever look the same as I did  prior to having the girls). 

A sneak peek at the teenage years

I admit that Stacey has spoiled me and been responsible for the girls getting to and from Helen's house since the first day I came back to work.  After all that was part of what made it so easy to come back.  Now don't get me wrong, I have taken my turn (usually during hunting season) at dropping them off or picking them up, but it has just never been my primary responsibility.  So now I am still adjusting to having to take the girls to and from preschool two days a week.  Stacey will often come home so frustrated after getting the girls.  I might have given him a hard time about not enjoying his daily time with the girls, but no more.

After I picked up the girls last night we headed home knowing that we needed to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things.  The whole was home was filled with questions that I had no idea why I was supposed to know the answers to or why anyone would need to care?  "Mom why is that blue car for sale?"  "Mom where is Ms. June (aka the summer preschool teacher)?"  "Mom why are fruitloops the colors they are?" 

I have a great deal of patience, but at the end of what was a very long day (thanks to policy 2875--my Fort friends will get that), I really wanted to just enjoy a little music or conversation that did not involve 50 questions.  After what seemed like 12 hours (in reality about 10 minutes) the girls began to sing along to the song and I was getting my quite time.  Any good parent knows that when it gets quite problems are not far behind.  Then bam it hit.....

"Uh mom didn't you say we needed to go to the store because like you went the wrong way totally Sam's Club is back that way...like duh mom."  Laughing hysterically, I just simple responded "hunny we are going to Patricia's in Odessa not Sam's Club."  Ella came back with "oh I thought you did not know what you were doing."  And then the questions began again.  At least I can hold on to the fact that three days a week I drive in silence, the only silence that I might have while awake :)

I know everything

The day we found out it was twins, I laughed and Stacey about passed out.   We had no idea the adventure we were in for.  We have lived through the not sleeping, double fits, double diapers, and yet we are still standing.  We also have the joy of double hugs, double kisses, and double the snuggling!

We have come to accept that the girls don't like being apart.  We deal with the late night talking when they should be going to bed, because we love the fact that they are so close.  However, double the preschool drama I could live without.

I dropped off the girls for their first day of their new "ladybug preschool" and Grace informed me it was not their first day since they have been going there almost two months, but rather just the first day with actual all day preschool instead of play.  " I thought you knew everything" she said.  So when I picked them up I asked how their day was and what they did.  Grace again tells me that I don't know everything or I would already know what they did.  It is about this point that I want to reach around in the back seat and show her what I do know, but I am smarter then that (or so I thought).  I glance over at their daily record sheet and proceed to tell her everything that she did.  Ella is impressed and comes to my defense and says "see Grace mommy does know everything, dad is the one who doesn't" (I don't play favorites, but at this point she is my favorite child ever). 

With a big smile on her face Grace, being just like her dad, asks me "if you know everything whose birthday did we celebrate today?"  (smart a@@ was the first thing that came to mind). 

Now I know that I don't know everything, but up until now I have been pretty good at answering all questions with an explanation that seems to satisfy.  Since when did my 4 year old become so smart as to outsmart her mommy? 

So to miss Grace, mommy does not know everything, but mommy knows a lot more then you so there :)! 

Mom Wins!

So tonight Grace decided that from the time we asked her to come to the table to eat dinner she was going to challenge us.  Tonight I decided that I needed a win. 

So at 6:00 p.m. the precious little girl turned into someone I did not recognize.  I should have known not to ask her to eat chicken, carrots, and bread (a meal she loved last week)...I mean really how dare I think that she should eat dinner before getting a snack.  30 minutes later when she realized that she was loosing this battle, she ate her dinner.  Win number 1 for mom!

She was whining that she was not going to get her snack since I foolishly thought she should take a bath first.  Stacey gave Ella a bath while Grace cried to me in the kitchen.  After 10 minutes, Ella and Stacey went out to have some fun in the yard and Grace got put in the bath.  She promptly told me that there was not enough water and she was not getting in (with her arms crossed and a stance that she though made her look powerful).  After being undressed and placed in the tub she proceeded to tell me that she was not washing until she got more water.  At this point her challenges were getting rather fun and I was very proud that I was keeping my cool.  After washing her while she screamed and splashed I was happy to take her out of the tub and put on her pjs. 

She demanded her snack as Ella bounced in the house with her poptart ready to watch a TV show.  After being ignored she decided that it would be fun to pitch a fit and stomp her feet.  I decided that at 7pm it was bedtime for little miss thing!  Score when she came down 10 minutes later said she was sorry and asked nicely for her snack.  I figured she had learned her lesson and gave her 1 ice Popsicle.  When she was told that she was only getting 1 she began to pitch a fit and got the Popsicle taken away.  The look on her face was worth all the struggle with that "oh I know you just did not take that away from me" when she got put back up to bed. 

Let's just say that I won tonight in a great victory with a little girl going to bed early with no snack!  It was comforting to call my mom and tell her the story and hear paybacks are hell.....just you wait mom someone will have to take care of you in your old age and paybacks might just be hell :). 

All in all feeling like a pretty successful parent right now and looking forward to starting again tomorrow.

Home Away from Home

We have been taking the girls to the lake camping since they were 3 months old.  (For those who know me, I should clarify that by camping I mean we have had a travel trailer and now we have a fifth wheel camper).  While there have been nights that Stacey and I looked at each other and thought why are we in this camper instead of our house which has so much more room, we have made the best memories as a family.  It is the one place where we can get away from all technology (ok well stacey's cell phone works, but that is it) and just put our work behind us. 

The girls know our "camping neighbors" by their vehicles and campers.  They talk all about those who have boats around us and don't understand why we would stay home to get things done at the house when we could be swimming!  Put the girls in a pool and they are a little timid, but they don't think twice about jumping into a lake.   

This past weekend the girls decided to put their heads together and come up with a plan.  You see nana and papa Jayhawk (ie Dan and Celeste) also come to the lake.  The girls decided that since nana and papa did not get out on their boat like they said they would, that they should get to spend the night at the Jayhawk camper in the ghetto (ie the trailer park just outside the state park we camp in).  Stacey and I cracked up at the thought of the girls plotting while they were swimming.  Who was going to ask?  Did we need to look pretty so they couldn't say no?  Stacey and I just thought that nana and papa would think that we had put them up to the task.  So the dinner time comes and nana and papa come over for the fish fry.  Ella looked right at nana and said "can we spend the night at your camper?"  Nana said to ask papa and Ella did what any good granddaughter would, "papa nana said we could spend the night at your camper." 

So bags packed, they headed for a night of fun with nana and papa while Stacey and I sat back and opened an adult beverage to enjoy a night without kids.  A win win for all in my opinion (nana and papa might disagree).

The Battle

I am a public relations director and as such I communicate for a living.  I would have to say that I think I am good at my job, therefore I believe that I am an effective communicator.  That being said I also believe that Grace was put on this earth to test my communication skills and show me my weaknesses as a communicator.

Grace, sweet Grace, is a night owl and all you have to do is mention the word bed and then the horns and pointy tail come out (disclaimer that she seems to save her horns and tail just for mom and dad and no one else that puts her to bed be it Nana, Papa, or a babysitter).  So last night was no surprise when we finished watching Jake and Neverland Pirates and Ella (the good child for the night) ran into go potty and headed upstairs without even being asked.  Grace on the other hand began to tell me all the reasons she was not capable of walking to the bathroom to go potty.  "My legs are tired."  "I miss my papa." "I don't have to potty."  As a good communicator I heard what she was saying and said, "Grace I know you don't want to go potty, but do you think that you could try for me?"  (thanks to working at a school district I also know a few BIST behavior tricks).  "No I don't have to potty," she screamed. 

After getting her into the bathroom and set on the potty I once again heard her say "I don't have to go potty."  Now for those who say she may not really have to go let's rewind to last week when she said that 3 times and came back down after being in bed for 5 minutes because she had to go potty since her tinkle just woke up after being put in bed.  Now that you know you will understand why she was made to sit there for 1 minute and try to make sure that her tinkle was not sleeping. 

I explained in my calm voice that we were heading for bed and it was her turn to turn on the nightlights.  She disagreed and proceeded to kick her feet on her bedroom floor because she thought the fan needed to be turned up higher.  I calmly explained that the fan was fine and placed her in bed.  As she screamed at Stacey and I we gave her a kiss and walked out.  The ear piecing scream of MOMMY made me come back in the room.  At this point my skills I use at work would still be in calm mode, but at home I was done for the night and I just needed this little "angle" to be quite!  Since she was making herself cough I knew it was only a matter of time before she puked everywhere in her bed just to get her way so why not yell, "Grace you will stop crying and you will go to bed now." 

Grace and her puking won and she got to stay up another half hour while she got another bath, clean pjs, clean sheets, and 5 minutes to find a replacement bear bear to keep her happy.

You may have one last night little missy, but mommy is older, wiser, and has been communicating longer so I will win this fight in the end (I figure if I keep telling myself that I won't feel like my education and training as failed me when I need it most :)

You can have it both ways

Let me start by saying that I have always wanted to have a career and family and knew that I could do both successfully (thanks mom).  When Stacey and I decided to have kids he knew that family would come first, but I would not be a stay at home mom.  He also knew that my career comes with crazy hours and thank the lord he was up for the challenge!

At three my daughters played meeting and were thrilled when I took them to work with me one day for a real meeting.  I was proud to be raising two little girls who wanted to be a success and saw me as a role model (OK maybe a little bit of a stretch, but I think I deserve it).  And then the tables turned. 

In May Stacey went to St. Louis for three days.  You would have thought it was the end of the world for the girls who cried every night that their snuggle buddy was not there to snuggle with them.  Ella would stare out the window down the gravel road just waiting for his truck to pull in the driveway.  Being good wife I called Stacey so he could enjoy the tears and sadness with me.  I was a little upset that here I was home with them and willing to do anything they wanted to make it a fun girls only few days and all they wanted was daddy (and sometime papa).  When I asked Grace if they cried when I was not home she look me in the eyes and said "not really mom."  Stacey added that they were used to me being gone.  My heart sunk.  Did my job mean that they needed daddy more then mommy?

Thankfully when I was away for five days in July I received a phone call with Ella barely able to talk and in tears because she missed her mommy and wanted me to come home and hold her.  It made me feel so good and I was even able to say to Stacey "well sucks to be you right now, but I am headed to have a beer with the gang.  See you in a few days." 

While I hate being away and really hate when I can not be there to snuggle and tuck the girls in at night, I know that I am teaching them an important lesson.  You don't have to choose between being a successful mom and having a successful career, you just need a good husband to support you in both! 

The Girls Start Preschool

After a year of talking, we decided we needed to find a preschool for the girls to attend.  After all they start school in just over a year and there is so much they need to learn to be ready (disclaimer that I work in education and so I have been trained to look at data that shows the difference between those kids who start school having attended preschool and those who did not).

I was silly to think that finding a preschool would one be easy and two not cost more then our house payment each month.  After months of searching we find a preschool that seemed just perfect.  Stacey and I took the girls for a visit and they were so excited.  They could not wait to go to school. 

This was not just a change for the girls to be going to school two days a week, it was a change for me having to be the one to take them and pick them up two days a week.  I know that I am spoiled that I walk out the door for work and come home when I am done and don't have to worry about the kids at all (thanks hunny).  We took the customary first day photos and were out the door.  The first two weeks went smooth and I was beginning to think I was over thinking that they might have a tough time adjusting.  Then week three began and the tears began to flow.  "I don't want to go to school."  "Why do you have to go to work all day?"  "Why can't you pick us up after lunch?"  The questions and phrases went on for days.  So Wednesday arrived and the girls and I packed up and headed out to school.  The ride there was quite which should have been my first clue that the day was about to go downhill.  We walked in and I asked what they wanted for breakfast and got told, "I'm not hungry."  Anyone who knows our family knows that is a sure sign that something is wrong.  The tear began to flow and Ms. June was doing her best to console Ella.  Then Grace started to cry and told me "I am crying because Ella is crying."  So I did what any good mom would do.  With tears in my eyes I gave them a hug and kiss and walked out the door to work.  A teary cry to Stacey and my mom made me feel a little better, but I will never forget the words "I will not do this everyday coming out of my mouth."

So a few weeks later and things have gotten better, but I have learned a few lessons from my four year olds.

1. It is not fun to play with boys especially when they play king of the mountain.
2. It is not fair that my boss makes me work all day when I should be able to leave after lunch.
3. It is hot out in the sun, but as a mom I don't know anything that helps that.
4. It is ok to cry when you miss your mom and dad.
5. I am not as strong as I thought I was, but I am learning.