As parents, we serve as our children's first teachers. Stacey and I, with help from our wonderful sitter, taught the girls to crawl, walk, talk, eat, play, and so many more things. Sometimes we forget that they teach us just as much.
Last summer I took my first step in my accreditation process and passed my APR readiness review panel. I was in Texas at the time and had the chance to celebrate what I thought was a great review with my MOSPRA colleagues. A few weeks later I got an official letter of congratulations from the UAB. Stacey had the girls make me huge signs telling me how proud they were of me. I used this as a teachable moment to let them know they can do anything if they put their minds too it and work hard. This brought on the girls wanting to do so many things on their own. I admit the hardest was perhaps taking their own bath, because really they don't wash the way I want them to and I am a bit of a control freak.
Fast forward almost 9 months and the girls are trying new things to be "big girls" and do things themselves. I have learned to let go of control and am really enjoying this new found freedom! So last week I went for the second part of my accreditation and had to take a computer exam. Having not really studied or taken a test in 10 years, I will have to say I was nervous. I had a plan and had been working my study plan for months. The day before I spent the day studying and the girls used that as a time to "study" too (aka practice writing their numbers and letters). They were so proud of how much better they were getting. Grace even said, "See mom a little hard work and I got this." I was so proud. From my own study session I had taken two practice tests and gotten a 100% and an 87%. In Grace's words, I had this!
You can imagine my broken heart when after taking the computer exam I realized that I failed and failed miserably. Almost two weeks later and I am still not sure what went so wrong. My best friend Megan knew that I needed to just have some comfort Mexican food. Stacey knew that I needed a hug and to just let me watch my trashy TV alone. Mom and Dan knew to just tell me it would be ok. After a few hours I was content knowing that this computer did not know anything about my skills and really who needed a few letters behind their name anyway. I had no idea the girls would teach me something that afternoon.
I want to pick them up from the sitter and take them to dance class. The girls can't remember that I asked them to pick up their toys, but they can remember that mommy took a test and they wanted to hear all about it. How do you explain to a 5 year old that you tried but just did not do well? As I working on my explanation of how mommy tried her best, but just could not get it, Grace said, "It's ok mommy you can try again." Ella said, "I love you mommy and we can help you study your flashcards." As they brought tears to my eyes, I said, "well girls I don't think that mommy is going to try again." "But mommy you just need to keep trying like you always tell us," said Ella. Now how do you respond to I am not going to follow the advice I give you? I did what any good parent would do and changed the subject.
Having thought on it now for almost a week, and receiving my official you failed but try again letter, I have decided that I need to be the teacher and show the girls that just because you fail at something the first time does not mean that you can not succeed. It is not important if you pass or fail, what is important is that you keep trying your best until you get it right and ask for help when you need it. So girls, mommy signed up to take the APR test again. She is going to ask for more help and be prepared to see flashcards all over the house! Lesson heard and learned.
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